Denhopper, Payne

Yet another mad bomber


CN Goblin Tinker 1 / Barbarian 1 / Tinker 5 / Sapper [APG58] 3 / Bombardier [MMa] ∞ of Science

Abilities: Int, Agy, Sta, Str, Cha, Spt

Skills: Climb, Craft (alchemy, technological device), Disable Device, Jump, Knowledge (engineering), Open Lock, Use Technological Device

Feats: Delay Malfunction, Extreme Abilities (Agy, Str) [APG37], Far Shot, Initiate Self-Destruct Sequence [AHC48], Iron Will, Point Blank Shot, Quick Draw, Racer [LM204], Small Device Knack (Teddy Bomber!)

Gear: Numerous bombs, flintlock pistol, masterwork studded leather armor, masterwork buckler, artisan’s tools, chaos chicken [MMM], dirtworm [MMM188], explosive sheep [MMM196], goblin army boots [MMM183], goblin fishing pole [MMM196], many-hands gloves [MMM184], port-a-porter [MMM185], tinker’s arms [MMM186]


“I’m smarter than you, Jack! I’m smarter! I’m smarter!” —Payne Denhopper, Goblin Bombardier

“Yeah, well I’m taller!” —John “Jack” Keenreaver, Human Guard

Background: The goblins of the Denhopper family made a name for themselves (literally) during the Third War, where they worked as mercenaries, specializing in using their explosives to flush out underground enemies, such as orc peons in burrows. Payne himself was a bomb-disposal specialist for the Ratchet city guard until a mishap caused when his uncle Deakin dropped some embers from his cigar a bit too close to a fuse. Payne took the blame and was forcibly retired. Since then, he has worked as a freelance sapper.

Description: Payne looks like an ordinary goblin, if perhaps a bit soot-stained and with an unusually large number of objects concealed under his coat. Upon closer inspection, he also has two teeth replaced with flint and steel. He loves explosions as much as any goblin, and admires the idea of dying in a blaze of glory, but is pragmatic enough to prefer to live to explode another day.

Necessities: Payne could work with any faction, but would not do well in a nature-loving or Luddite party.

Comments: I like blowing things up. Also, it’s good to redress the problem of size minorities, which are just as prominent as in D&D—and Small characters use just as powerful bombs as anyone else (although they can carry less). The barbarian class gives him speed, a pistol, and armor, but it might be nice to rage once in a while, too (when he’s mad that someone disarmed his bombs, for instance). I’m somewhat irritated by the fact that I can’t go far in both tinker and sapper without wasting the improved evasion. (You have to wonder how you’re supposed to get resistance to fire 5 without evasion—unless you’re a night elf, hardly the most likely race to produce an explosives expert.)

Alternatives: I chose a goblin over a gnome because the former race is more eccentric (too rich to be crazy), but this also means that it would be easier to fit into either faction (or independent). In D&D rules, Grenadier [Players [sic] Handbook II p. 79] would be great.

Development: This kind of character may not survive long enough to develop. . . .

Denhopper, Payne

Archlords of the Realms Archlords